This is about as crazy as it gets

So, sitting here today, I realized just how crazy my life is. Now I know I cannot have the craziest life, and that there are certainly people with crazier lives, but on a scale of one to ten, I have to say that mine is up there.

My newborn slept 7 hours last night, and I wish I could say that I enjoyed it. No, instead of blissfully sleeping, I woke up at 2am, then 2:30, then 3, and if that wasn't enough, 4. To top it all off, just as I feel the REM sleep taking over my exhausted body, my eight year old daughter, bless her little pea pickin' heart, brings me "Shaynie boo", beacuse she's cryin'. "Well not really cryin', but fussing". I know I should be grateful, but it's hard, very hard at 5am when you've only had 4 hours of seriously restful sleep. I want to say, "Brie, bring her back when she's really crying, not just fussin'", in the hopes that I can eek out a few more minutes of zzz's. As Brie hands "Shaynie boo" to me, I have to remind myself that I wanted this; a large family. And in all reality, when I wake up enough to stumble to the bathroom to make the bottle, and I cuddle my little one in my arms and wait the 20 or so minutes for her to drink the whole 5 ounces, while I doze in and out of sleep, I every so often open my eyes and I am sooo grateful. Grateful that I have the privilege to have children and grateful that God would bless me with 8 of them, even if the last one has come when I am 41. I can honestly say, 21 years ago, after the birth of my first child, I never saw myself here. In fact after the birth of Brit, I saw myself having one child. But, as age and insanity set in, I begin to see the exquisite joy and incomprehensible gift having children is. When all is said and done, when the fat lady shows up at my funeral to sing, I will have made a difference in this crazy, messed up world. I will have raised 8 wonderful, amazing, gifted, intelligent, capable, giving, and loving adults, who in their own small and simple ways will also change this world and make it a better place; and who could ask for more. I'm sure when I'm resting in the ground, no one is going to remember what car I drove or how big my house was, but my influence on my children, and their subsequent influence on my grandchildren, will touch the lives of thousands and tens of thousands of people this whole world over. So, even though I didn't get "enough" sleep last night, I got enough; because cradling my newborn in my arms and sharing with her my warmth, my touch, and my love, I have changed the world.